All She Wanted was Love
by shegoismyfav
Summary: All she wanted-needed-was love. Why couldn't fate let her have it?


The dictionary defined love as "a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person". Lady Tremaine scoffed at the idea. Love-what was love? A useless emotion that got in the way of rational thinking. Never mind that she had never experienced the emotion herself.

Her first marriage had been arranged. There had been no love, not even an ounce of fondness between them. They lived in the same house of course, but everything they did, unless it was in public, was separate. They slept in different bedrooms, took meals at different times, and hardly ever planned activities together. It was an empty life, but her husband had been a member of the royal court, so at least she had wealth and power, be it ever so little.

Then came the time she had to give him an heir. It was a horrendous experience, as they hadn't been intimate since their wedding night several years earlier. She hated it. And the pain, oh the pain! But did her husband care? Of course not!

He wanted something and he got it. She laid there as stiff as a board and tried to imagine herself anywhere else. Thankfully, she became pregnant rather quickly, and after that he left her alone once more. Those nine months were the worst of her life, and that was really saying something. Then there was the birth itself, and as she lie there writhing in pain and feeling like her very insides were being torn from her being, she prayed to God she never had to go through it again.

Unfortunately, the baby was a girl. Her husband took one look at her, sneered, and walked out, saying as a parting "We'll just have to try again, won't we?" She knew what he meant, and all but threw her daughter at the midwife. Burying her face in her hands she began to sob, asking God why he had cursed her with such a life.

As soon as she was able to walk again, her husband broached the subject of another baby. He made it very clear he wanted a boy, and implied it was her fault that their current child was a female. She cringed inside at his harsh words, but on the outside kept her calm facade. When Drizella was three months old, she discovered she was pregnant once again. After another round of hell, made worse by the overwhelming pressure to birth a boy, it was once again time to give birth.

As she felt the babe slip free, she collapsed backwards and hoped to high heaven the midwife would announce a healthy boy. Her hopes were crushed when the baby was revealed to be yet another girl. Her husband didn't even acknowledge her, simply walked out and made sure to slam the door. Tears slipped down her cheeks against her will, and she wondered what she had done to be punished like that. She wouldn't even accept her child this time, not wanting to look upon her second failure.

* * *

As the girls grew, it was extremely obvious they had inherited nothing from their mother. They took after their father in almost every possible way, though Drizella did have her mother's dark hair. She couldn't bring herself to love her children, feeling like a failure every time she looked upon them and was reminded of her failure to produce a son. So instead she spoiled them, showering them with gorgeous dresses and toys hoping to make up for not showing them the slightest hint of affection. They grew to be greedy and selfish, but she couldn't bring herself to care, realizing they would most likely wed for money and power when the time came.

And then fate intervened, and she thought fate must have a cruel sense of humor to leave her widowed with two children. Life went on, though she noticed her finances were beginning to dwindle. It was a few years before she heard rumors of another widow seeking a wife. He was a Lord, a step up from her former husband. And he seemed to have a child of his own, a little girl as well.

It was the perfect match, and she wasted no time in arranging a meeting with him. They got on very well, and he seemed very warm and friendly. They were married soon after, and she was quite pleased with her new social standing. His child, however, that was another matter. She couldn't stand her, was jealous even, of the relationship she shared with her father.

She supposed that was what love looked like, and found herself craving it. She was disgusted with herself, but at the same time intrigued. She had gone her whole life without love, why did she so long for it now? She supposed it was because deep down she had always known something was missing from life and just refused to acknowledge it. But being faced with a constant reminder every day brought her need to the surface.

So she tried harder to be kinder to her husband and even his daughter. Her own daughters noticed the change, and it seemed life was slowly improving. Lord Tremaine began to look at her with a certain spark in his eyes, and she recognized it as one similar to when he looked at Cinderella. It was love, and she felt her heart swell with happiness. She even began to treat Cinderella better, and show her daughters little signs of affection.

And finally, after years of being practically celibate, her husband took her to their room with a spark in his eye. They made love, and she realized there was a difference. When he made love to her, he was gentle, and she found herself actively participating. She felt wonderful, and everyone noticed. She began to glow with happiness, and felt as if her life was finally complete.

Then came fate, once again intervening in her life without permission. It took her husband once again, but there was a difference this time. There was pain this time, like rubbing salt in a wound. It hadn't been love, at least not on her part, but there was a deep seeded fondness for the man. All three girls were saddened of course, though for different reasons. Her once happy heart shriveled back to a husk, all emotion leaving it besides jealousy and anger.

Her resentment of Cinderella returned full force, even doubling or perhaps tripling, she couldn't tell nor care. Her daughters were once again showered with gifts, while her stepdaughter, so stark in contrast to herself, was banished to the life of a scullery maid. She became even more ruthless and domineering than before, her words coming harsher and colder, her mask of haughtiness staying in place longer and longer each time until it was permanent. Her daughters grew more cruel and greedy by the day, and she didn't care. As long as they found something that made them happy she didn't care what it was.

And yet, as the years rolled by, her stepchild was always kind, always respectful, never bending or breaking to their torture. And it drove her mad. Why should she still feel happiness and love when she herself couldn't? Long past caring, she increased her chores and harsh words, hoping to break her spirit.

Her efforts continuously failed, and now here she was, forced to attend the wedding of Cinderella and the Prince. Some payoff she had gotten, trying to break the girl. As she saw the glow of happiness Cinderella exerted increase every second she was closer to marrying her true love, she felt herself shatter more and more. Why had she been dealt this hand in life? Twice widowed, failure to produce a boy, having a chance at being happy and loved only to lose it before it was really hers, and now being forced to watch her stepdaughter wed her true love.

She couldn't take it anymore. As soon as she could, she exited the ceremony, quickly finding an empty room. It appeared as if it was hardly used, which was just fine with her. Less chance of being caught. Her back hit the door and she slid to the floor, allowing herself to feel for the first time in years.

And Lady Tremaine, the ruthless, cold-hearted woman, finally allowed herself to break. Tears slid down her cheeks as she mourned what her life had been and what it had become. She sat there for she didn't know how long, and the tears kept coming. She found herself lying on the dusty, cold marble floor sometime later, and couldn't help but smirk at the fact she hadn't been missed. She sat up and wiped her tears, putting her mask back in place.

Quietly exiting the room, she rejoined the celebration. As she watched the newly wed couple dance, she felt bitter resentment bubble to the surface, scowled, and felt her heart harden into stone once again. Love-look where it had gotten her.


End file.
